Break-Up

Planning A Successful Meeting - Getting Started:

Typically if your job title is “Meeting Planner”, “Event Coordinator” “Program Director” you plan meetings, either internal or external, on a regular basis. Some meeting planners who work for large companies and associations are Certified Meeting Professionals and have teams of people they work with for planning their meetings with each member of the team responsible for a different aspect of the planning. If however you are planning a meeting for the first time and are unsure how to get started, there are some key areas you should focus on. Set-up a worksheet and start gathering information and answering the following questions

1. The name of the company, association or department that the meeting is being planned for.

2. What kind of event is it? i.e. national sales meeting, client conference.

3. What is the objective of the meeting?

4. Will you have a theme for the meeting?

5. What will the event consist of i.e. opening/closing keynote speaker, luncheon entertainment, breakout sessions, workshops, cocktail party. Each segment should be separately organized and then incorporated into the overall event.

6. The number of days the event will take place over. Come up with a timeline.

7. Date of the event. Come up with a preferred date and have second and third choices.

8. Commencement date in the AM or PM and the date and time that the meeting will be over.

9. Size of the event. How many attendees do you expect?

10. Check the calendar to make sure that your date is free of conflict with religious holidays, other industry events etc

11. Determine the budget that you are working with.

12. Put together a plan for publicity, promotion and advertising.

13. Location – where will the meeting be held? Will you have the meeting at a convention center, hotel, resort, historic property?

14. If the meeting is going to be off-site will it be local, in another town or city or in another State?

15. Site visits may be in order to help you determine the best location for your meeting. Once you have chosen the meeting site, determine how many guest rooms and how many meeting rooms will be required.

16. Start planning for meals and food/beverages that will be available on-site.

17. Audio visual and sound equipment. What will be required? Will you use the services provided by the facility where you are having your meeting or work with outside vendors?

18. Entertainment – will entertainment will bought in and be part of your meeting or be provided off-site?

19. Transportation - people/freight.

20. Insurance

21. Estimated overall expense.

If there is a website with a page set-up where you are advertising your meeting or event, it is really helpful to keep updating the information there to keep potential attendees or members abreast of developments as you finalize respective details i.e. date, location, facility, about the surrounding area, the meeting agenda. Carefully thinking everything through and attention to detail throughout the planning process will help to ensure a highly successful and memorable event.

Dealing With Friends And Family During Divorce:

In a divorce it is not just mom, dad, and the kids who are affected. Your parents, siblings, in-laws, uncles, and friends are all drawn into the conflict. As you begin the divorce process, your tendency will be to think only of your most immediate world: home, children, and property. This is the core that is changing, but that can blind you to the larger world outside. As the process drags on you will discover that your entire range of relationships has changed. Some of these changes are sudden and huge. Others are far subtler.

Whose friend is whose? Will you ever see your in-laws again? What are the fault lines of your children’s loyalties? Will any of their friendships be affected? Much of this turns on the divorce process itself. The nastier it gets, the more difficult these questions become. Can you remain friends with the couple that is still on good terms with your ex? When you’re around them do you have to watch every word you say?

As with all issues of divorce, this one is easier if the split is amicable. If you and your ex are on friendly terms, that feeling will usually extend to his relatives. But if things have been ugly, then relationships change radically. The bitterness in a divorce tends to bleed into far too many other parts of one’s life.

When you are one of the people who are divorcing, you suffer not only the loss of a spouse, but a whole set of people you cared about. These may be people you spoke to candidly, folks with whom you shared holidays and vacations. You may have even thought of them as people you would confide in about anything. Suddenly they are cast into an enemy camp, and you wish you’d never said a word to them.

The easy thing to say is: be strong. The most important thing to say is: go to the friends and family who have stuck with you. When people turn against you, go to those people who are true to you. Your real friends won’t ask you to spell out everything, or to prove anything. They will simply give you love and support, and that is exactly what you need most now.

Bedroom Furniture For The Newly Divorced:

If you have recently divorced, you may have had to split your furniture or even give up all of your furniture all-together. What can you do if you are faced with the decision to buy new Bedroom Furniture but you are on a bit of a budget due to your divorce? Well, good news is that there are many great options out there once you know where and how to look. It's hard for some people that are used to sharing a room with another to get divorced and then have to decorate a bedroom on their own. Here are some tips to help you do that with style and class- and also on a budget.

The first thing you need to consider is how much furniture you need and how much space you have. If you are limited on space, as many newly divorced people are, then you probably won't need furniture as large as what you had before. If you moved to an apartment or smaller house, a King Size Bed Bedroom Set might not even fit in your new room. You need to think about the amount of space that you have to work with and also the fact that you likely won't need as much space now as you did before when you were married.

But thinking necessity does not mean you have to do away with style and fashion. There are any Affordable Bedroom Sets in smaller size such as a regular full sized bed. For some people, even a twin size bed may work for their needs. If you have always wanted a canopy bed but your spouse didn't approve, this may be the perfect time and opportunity to go for a four poster canopy bed or metal canopy bed.

It doesn’t stop when you have chosen your bed; you might also want to look at bedroom dressers and bedroom TV Armoires to find the perfect fit for your clothing and personal belongings. But since you are divorced, you may choose smaller sizes with fewer drawers since you won't need as much storage space in the bedroom. For many people, a divorce is a starting over point. It can also be a very emotionally trying time in your life so doing something good for yourself, even if it is just something small, can make a big difference. You owe it to yourself to take care of yourself and creating a bedroom that you can relax in and sleep well in is a good way to do this. A good night's rest in a Comforting Bedroom will help you get the mental and physical rejuvenation that you need to start your day anew.

Keeping Positive During Divorce:

If you are facing a divorce, you may be feeling very depressed and upset. These feelings are very normal. You cannot predict what is going to happen when you get married. Some marriages work and others do not. It is important to understand that this is not the end of the world and things like this happen all the time.

You are not a bad person because you are getting a divorce. If you and your spouse cannot longer get along, there is no reason to live together in a situation that makes you unhappy. You need to worry about your future and the well being of yourself and your children ,if any. Sometimes a divorce can be avoided with the help of a marriage counselor, but often there is just no hope.

Altohugh it is difficult to keep a positive outlook when you are going through a divorce, you cannot let yourself fall apart. If you are being accused of untruthful accusations, you have to remain strong so that you can defend your name and your reputation.

Do not give up. You have to gather all of your strength an inner resources. If you are determined to get something that is rightfully yours, you need to stand up for it. Getting what you want in a divorce is not always possible, but you have to stand up for what you believe in.

Keep yourself surrounded by others that are positive as well. Keeping your friends and family around you is important. You need to make sure there is humor and laughter in your life even though you may feel like falling apart. This will keep you in a state of positive energy and keep you ready for what is ahead.

Once the divorce is over and done with no matter what the outcome, you have to be ready to go on with your life. You may not believe it now, but you will have an exciting new life to look forward to and you can make your dreams come true. Your life is not over even if you think that it is. There are always second chances and you deserve to have one. Your time will come for love again and even if it does not, you will know that you are better off without your spouse.

You are being given a chance to start over again and you get to choose whether your life will be filled with happiness and joy or bitterness and hate. Slowly over time you will begin to let go of the bitter feelings that once consumed you.

Remember life is a choice. What happens to you ultimately is based upon how you choose to live your life.

Breakups : How To Get Over Relationship Break Ups:

Are you at the end of a relationship and finding it hard to come to terms with your loss? Are you finding it hard to understand why your relationship has come to the end in the way that it did? Are you feeling that this may be something that you just can’t get over? Do you just want the pain and anguish to go away so that you can heal and start over again? If you are experiencing a bad relationship break up then you can certainly understand the negative impact that it can have on your emotions and also the feelings of the people that love and look out for you.

In my career as a hypnotherapist I have helped hundreds of individuals with soothing that pain and hurt that comes from hard relationship break-ups. Some people that I have seen see it as the end of their world and in the first instance find it very hard to move on, put it behind them and get on with their life. For them this is a real pain that is not even comparable to the worst kind of physical pain. If you are suffering in this situation right now then I want to offer a message of hope and say that how ever hard it is to believe right now, that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Just hang in there.

With the clients that I help, I use hypnosis, this is done on a one to one bases or through my hypnosis download for break ups. Hypnosis basically works to reprogram the part of the brain that we call the sub or un-conscious mind. It is the sub-conscious mind that holds all of our thoughts, beliefs, memories, behaviours and habits, so it is a great place to start to deal with the negative impact of your break-up. By soothing the pain and other emotions related to break ups you can then start to look at your situation differently – in another light. This allows you to make decision about your future with more clarity.

If you are serious about getting over the pain and discomfort of a relationship break up then I wish you the best of luck and success. I suggest that you start with a hypnosis recording or download or even look up your local hypnotherapist to seek their help.

I really wish you the best of success in this and remember – this is not the end of the world – you are strong enough to beat this.

The Cost Of Divorce:

The costs of getting a divorce are staggering. The payouts – which don’t end overnight or in a month – can cripple you financially. It could be years before you get back on your feet.

For celebrities and members of the upper classes, they would gladly pay for expensive lawyers and financial trustees to rid themselves of a spouse that has proven to be more of a liability rather than an asset. It was good while it lasted, but people like to move on with their lives. They pick up the pieces and start anew.

When we think of the cost of divorce, our first impulse is to see dollars and cents dancing in our heads and we reel from the bills that land in our mailboxes. The financial picture can look as ugly as the divorce itself. But it’s not just the money that is the thorny issue. There’s another kind of cost that is equally staggering. And devastating.

That cost is the emotional toll on individuals who divorce. No wonder many of them come out of a divorce 100% different. Their sentiments and attitudes have taken a 360 degree turn so when they finally leave the courtroom or their lawyer’s offices, they can’t begin to comprehend what truly hit them.

Your heart goes out to the man in Alcoholics Anonymous who says that after the divorce, he lost everything – his job, his wife and kids, his house – and with bitterness, he says “I also lost me. Don’t know where I’ve been or where I’m going.”

Both the financial and psychological cost of divorce generate such a devastating outcome that will last a long time; you sometimes stop to think and ask the question, “was getting a divorce really worth it?”

Cost of Divorce: The Emotional Aspect Can you imagine yourself being a changed person all because of a divorce? Change is probably too mild a word. Let’s try transformed or metamorphosed. Has the innocence of youth totally disappeared that you’ve lost trust in your fellow humans?

Focusing on the divorce itself tends to make us overlook the few years leading up to the divorce. Your emotions have been stretched a lot in that period of time. They’ve been stretched so much that they’ve lost their elasticity. You’ve tried your best, experimented with solutions, visited one counselor after another but your instincts tell you that the love and trust are no longer there and the marriage is over. You need to call it quits before there’s not a morsel left in you. You need to conserve the little that remains, because sadly, it’s all you’ve got to try to build on from scratch. Staying in the marriage will only deprive you of that tiny, tiny chance at finding happiness again.

In the meantime, do you know what’s happened to you, your soul and the elements that once defined you?

Perhaps the best way to illustrate the emotional cost of divorce is to look at a few examples of “wounded” husbands and wives whose emotions had changed from the time they were newlyweds up to the time of their divorce.

Case # 1: Honey, I’ve got a headache.

HE: At first I said she was just tired and stressed from looking after the kids all day. But then she was beginning to refuse sex more frequently. This made me feel that I’m unattractive and have lost the ability to excite her. I mean, the point of getting married is to have one partner for life but my wife is unresponsive and is not interested in sex. Makes you wonder about the whole monogamy issue. Can’t she see I’m hurt by her constant refusal? Does she not love me anymore?

SHE: He expects me to be there ready for him. I feel he treats me more like a machine – something he can turn on and off – gets what he wants and turns his back when he’s done. I feel so cheap, so unloved that I’d rather refuse his advances than endure his mechanical lovemaking. I’m ready to throw in the towel. I prefer someone who’s less demanding physically.

Case # 2: Help, our bank account’s sinking!

SHE: I understand that it’s important to save for a rainy day. I agreed to be thrifty and I’ve been through years of self-deprivation. I work so it’s not as if I’m spending his money. I contribute to the household expenses but every time I buy a dress or a bottle of my favorite perfume, he makes me feel like I’ve lost all money sense and that I don’t care about our future. I resent the way he tries to make me save like he does. To me, money was meant to be saved and spent. I want to have more control over my money. He’s interfering in an area where he has no business interfering.

HE: I’m trying to emulate my dad. We weren’t very rich but because he saved consistently, he managed to provide for his family adequately, and my mother did not have to find work after he died. I see a lot of our friends who have since gone bankrupt because they always had to have the latest gadgets. All those cars, motorcycles, iPods, cell phones, pools, club memberships, eating out – they’re all a drain on your savings. My wife believes in instant gratification. I keep telling her that’s the sure way to financial ruin. She’s totally ignorant about what our lives will be like when we retire – and with escalating health care costs…

Case # 3: I’m not good enough for him. He criticizes my lack of knowledge and he says I’m an ignoramus

SHE: I feel like I’m under a microscope. He questions me as if I’m an underperformer in school. He forces me to read books I don’t enjoy and brings home magazines that he expects me to read so when he questions me, I can come up with a decent answer. He says he admires his female colleagues in the office who are lawyers. He calls me dumb blond when my hair isn’t even blond. He keeps taunting me with “you could have at least finished high school. You don’t even know what’s happening in the world.” Then finally, the last straw was when he said he didn’t want our children to be as ignorant as me. That’s when I decided I was no longer going to take any verbal abuse from him – he killed my spirit but I wasn’t going to let him kill what’s left of me.

HE: My wife is so lazy and lacking in ambition. Here we are living in one of the largest cities in North America and she won’t do anything to educate herself. Our community offers all kinds of self-improvement courses and I’ve told her time and again how important it is to learn new things so we could have a decent conversation. But she’s content being at home, caring for the kids. She won’t even pick up the newspaper. I was aware I was marrying someone who lacked a bit of initiative, what I didn’t know then was I marrying someone who was slothful.

From the three cases above, we can summarize the emotional cost of divorce thus:

Death of love and loss of respect, isolation, self-doubt, low self-esteem, depression and anxiety, absence of trust, cynicism, intolerance, anger, bitterness and feelings of inadequacy.

Over time, if these psychological imbalances do not get the care and attention they need, the emotional cost of divorce could translate into medical costs as well. As an example, when one spouse falls into a depression, then psychological care will represent an added expense. When the fighting and the bickering drives someone to alcoholism or drugs, rehab costs should also be factored in.

Cost of Divorce: The Financial Aspect Before you file your divorce papers, do think twice, thrice, four times. Talk to family members and friends. Find out how much their divorce set them back financially. When they tell you the numbers, you may want to re-consider.

Now, if you’re NOT prepared to re-consider and you do want to divorce, the cheapest possible way is the do-it-yourself divorce, but if you haven’t done any homework or due diligence, there’s a chance you could end up with the short end of the stick. If your spouse is more knowledgeable than you about issues such as alimony, child support and division of marital assets, you might not be getting your just part of the bargain.

Another alternative is the collaborative divorce where your lawyer and your spouse’s lawyer try to finalize the divorce in the friendliest of terms.

What we mentioned does not really address the issue of how much it’s going to cost financially.

We’ll begin with the legal fees. This is where you realize that words aren’t cheap. Bear in mind that a lawyer will charge you not only on the number of minutes he talks to you in his office and on the phone, he will charge you for researching jurisprudence, administrative costs like stationery, courier services, court fees, filing fees, paralegal’s fees and others. In fact he could be billing more time without you than time with you. He has to write the proceedings, motions and affidavits.

Lawyers charge on an hourly basis, on a retainer basis or per package. Hourly fees in North America range from $100.00 to $250.00 – higher in some cities. Retainer fees range anywhere from $8,000.00 to $12,000.00 depending on where you live, the specifics of your case and the lawyer’s hourly rate. Some provinces in Canada and states in the US can charge higher retainer fees. Keep in mind that if you choose to pay on retainer basis, a written retainer agreement must be drawn up.

Caution: if the retainer agreement stipulates surrendering title to your house or substantial cash assets for failure to pay legal fees, do NOT sign the retainer agreement! In other words, don’t give up anything you CAN’T afford to lose.

Financial costs do not end in the lawyer’s office, unfortunately.

Your properties: the properties and assets acquired during the marriage may now only represent 50% of their original value to you. If the divorce agreement calls for a 50-50 split, you automatically lose 50% of the total value.

Personal effects like furniture, clothes, knick knacks, collectibles and cars are usually evaluated on a “garage sale” basis, so you and your spouse can agree who gets what.

As for the house, the spouse with primary custody usually stays in the house with the children; or if the house is no longer affordable to either spouse, you can both decide to sell it and split the proceeds equally.

Other costs to consider:

Depending on who gets to keep the house, the following will be have to be included into the cost equation:

• Mortgage and interest payments

• Property taxes

• Insurance

• Maintenance costs

• School and water taxes

Also, you may want to ask your lawyer how each spouse’s retirement plans, 401(k) plans (US) and RRSPs (Canada) and other pension benefits and plans should be divided.

Add: children’s expenses: tuition, medical and health bills, recreational activities, baby sitters, special care (if psychologists are hired to help the children through the divorce), vacations and other expenses.

How To Deal With Your Ex-husband's New Girlfriend:

Many of us find a new mate immediately after divorce. Your ex-husband may be one of them. This can be hard on you emotionally. My own ex took no break whatsoever. His relationship was the cause of our breakup. She moved in with him two months after he left my home. She left him after little more than a year. I was elated.

Her departure was satisfying on several levels. My feelings stemmed from my own hurt, and they also came from the disruption and pain she’d brought to my children’s lives. But I admit that revenge was a factor. I liked the feeling that my ex was finally getting his comeuppance. Now he would feel the sting of rejection. I wanted him to suffer this. I had good reason. He had thrown out 13 years of marriage, and I wanted him to pay for it.

His girlfriend had been a painful reminder of all that, and I couldn’t help but feel relief that her life no longer intersected with mine or my children’s.

But these feelings of relief and satisfaction were quickly tempered by the fact that he soon found another girlfriend. I decided that any woman was better than the last, but still I wondered, how could anyone want to date a broke, often-unemployed, overweight, balding man?

His new girlfriend was only 24, 14 years younger than he was. She seemed nice enough, but deep down it still bothered me that he was happy. Despite all the books I had read on spirituality, forgiveness, and love, I still felt rage.

Try as I might, I couldn’t understand these feelings. I no longer had any physical attraction to this man. I didn’t even like him. Why would I care? The real reason was that I wanted him to suffer for what he had done to me.

It is normal to have confusing feelings long after the divorce is final. An ex’s new partner can stir hostility whenever she comes in contact with your children. This is inevitable. Your life has been turned upside down. The familiar and routine are changed forever. Even if your marriage was filled with anger, it was still the life you knew. Some inmates find security in a prison cell. Marriage can be the same.

With divorce new people enter your life, some not by choice. You must find a way to deal with your ex’s new love. This is difficult if you are not currently in a relationship yourself. Why him, but not me? You ask over and over.

You feel you are a good person, and you deserve love. You feel as if your ex deserves loneliness and pain. Stop taking it personally. The right person will show up. Though it may not seem so now, he will arrive at exactly the right moment. Be cautious. Look before you leap. There’s no need to risk repeating a painful experience. Take your ex’s success as an omen. You know that if it can happen to him quickly, you too will find love. If his new love proves fleeting, don’t rejoice or worry about it. The longer you wait the better chance you have for a truly lasting love.

Don’t jump into something just to prove yourself. This is not a competition. This is a serious search for a love that will last a lifetime. You do not need to suffer again.

That doesn’t mean you should ignore your negative emotions. Release them. Talk to a friend or therapist. Punch a pillow. Wait until you are alone, then call your ex every dirty name in the book. Shout it and scream it. Let all of it go. Let go of all of the pain, hurt, and betrayal. The process may take months, or even years, but you will feel better in time.

That special someone will come, and your divorce will fade into memory. You will no longer harbor hateful feelings toward your ex. You will come to accept your ex for who he is, and wish him well.

How To Try And Save A Marriage:

"Can you still do something to save your dying marriage?"

The fact is, there are lots of ways to save a dying marriage and prevent divorce. And if the couple wills it, they can successfully bring back the excitement that is last felt long time ago.

Marital retreat

Married life can be stressful. The work, children, financial obligations, and the overwhelming tasks of living contribute to the slow death of marriage. And in this modern time where it is hard to stay way from stress, the marriage will more likely to fail simply because it never occurred into the couples' mind that all they need to do is to rest.

Slowing down and taking the time to rest and to forget all the things that keep the couples away from each other could mean bringing back the lost excitement that the couples once have. Spending quality time with each other together with other couples in a marital retreat can work on saving the marriage before it even gets to your mind.

Admitting the mistakes of couples and forgiving each other for any sin they have committed and pain they have caused to one another could save marriage.

Improving the things that has caused cheating to happen is an effective way to keep the family in tacked.

Seeking professional advices and couples therapy is a great way to heal any wound caused by infidelity.

Improving communication

There will come a time when marriage is going nowhere but down. One of the reasons for this is the lack of communication from both parties. This could be because of the limited time they spend together mainly because of career. While making money is important, taking care of the family is priceless. Communication keeps couples emotionally connected. And spending quality time together provides a good venue to keep the lines open.

Marriage counseling is often seen as the last resort in the attempt to save marriage. This is very unfortunate since marriage counselors can be more effective if the couple has seek help when the problem is just beginning to arise. What is more unfortunate is that the notion that once the couples decide to go to marital counseling sessions they have already given up since there are already tremendous emotional buildup inside marriage and there is nowhere to go but to separate.

Marital counseling should be taken as one of the more effective ways to save marriage and not just as a final nail on the coffin of marriage.

Deciding To Divorce:

The most intense, heart-wrenching decision comes at the start: Should you get divorced? Much has led up to this question, including the notions of separation and divorce. Up to now they have only been thoughts and words, with no immediate consequences. Now that you realize the time to decide has come, you have to contemplate action. The focus on action clarifies the situation, but also makes it seem more difficult and scary.

Any number of scenarios might lead to the end of a marriage. Sometimes there’s no choice; it’s your spouse who crosses the line. Often an affair ends a marriage. Other times physical abuse occurs, and the marriage becomes dangerous and intolerable. Circumstances like these leave little choice in the matter. A divorce becomes the only acceptable step.

But many divorces arise out of situations that are far less cut-and-dried. You may find that your marriage has grown dull. You look at your mate and realize that all the physical attraction you felt is gone. Or maybe the emptiness is in a different area. You might feel restricted, and even suffocated in everything you do. Your soul mate is no longer your soul mate. Your lives have grown apart. In situations like these others may still see your marriage as ideal, but deep down you feel it is all pain and misery. This may be one-sided. One partner may think everything is fine, while the other only wants out. Or you may be gasping for breath, and not even knowing it. If you come to the realization that your marriage is failing, should you get a divorce?

Before you take any steps you should contemplate where they might lead. Divorce is a painful, difficult choice. Ending a marriage is almost never easy, even when both sides agree that they no longer love each other. When one spouse still has deep feeling and the other doesn’t, or when there is any sense of imbalance at all—whether it be emotional, financial, or professional—that can only make it worse. In most cases you are ending a long relationship. There was love here once, and intensity. You are considering cutting the cord with someone who was the most important person in your life.

The presence of children amplifies the problem. The younger the kids, the worse it can be. Most children cannot help but feel torn when parents separate.

Divorce is often a financial earthquake for both parties. The family home might be sold. Two households are set up, both having to accommodate the children. Unless both parties are rich, this will affect your family’s standard of living.

Whether the problem is mental, spiritual, or a combination of factors, divorce is a step you should examine carefully. If there is no physical abuse in the picture, you may want to go to couple’s counseling before making the final decision. Offer to go with your spouse to see a therapist. Put it in positive terms, and make it a wholehearted offer. If you don’t think of it this way, counseling will have little chance of having any value. Your spouse may say no, but you will have tried.

If there is abuse, either physical or mental, couple’s counseling is almost certainly not the right course. Spousal or child abuse should not be tolerated. If it happens you need to protect yourself. In such a case you should simply look for the quickest, safest way out. Appeal to friends and family or, if necessary, go to a shelter. Do whatever you must do to effectively separate yourself and your children from your spouse, then look for a lawyer.

Has your spouse cheated? For me this was the cause of my divorce. Some will be able to forgive their spouse and try to save the marriage. I was unable to accept my husband’s affair and he quickly changed into a different person, both emotionally and physically, leaving me no choice but to file for divorce.

I know from my own experience, and from observation of many divorces, that your road ahead is long, frustrating, and probably ugly. The best scenario would be that you and your spouse begin by meeting with a mediator to agree on a fair settlement. If this route is possible it will save both of you thousands in legal fees. If you feel that your spouse will agree to an amicable divorce, this is the way to go.

Break-Ups Are Never Easy, But You Could Make Them Easier!

This issue is bigger than you think, with thousands every year having to struggle through all of the emotional as well as the practical quagmire. And the unfortunate news is that this type of devastation is on the increase both in Europe and the United States.

Not only the weak and dependent suffer extreme heartache and anxiety when break-ups and separations occur. For some people it can almost feel like the end of the world, and it may seem that no one understands or is able to heal the pain.

Not surprisingly Hypnosis and Hypnotherapy are very helpful in these situations, because they quickly deal with the negative emotions that seem to dwell in us at such traumatic times, such as anger, disappointment, resentment, low self-confidence, self-blame and many more. It then helps us to prepare for a strong and happy future, so that eventually we can return to feeling the way that we want to feel and get back to having some comfort and even enjoyment back in our lives.

You may feel that this is too big to get over and that nothing will take your pain away, however this is because you have issues and other things to resolve. These issues tend to look bigger than they actually are, especially with all of the associated negative emotions that you will currently be experiencing. During session of Hypnotherapy, you will be helped to deal with the emotions and the stress that you are feeling.

This will help you to be able to look into the future with clarity and even find you security. When this happens you will then work on putting your life back together and increasing your motivation to work on goals that you wish to achieve in the future as to ensure that you get out of life exactly what you want!

Hypnotherapy deals with the part of your mind that decides whether you feel sad or happy, it also deals with the part of you mind that creates you perceptions about things. This is why you will be amazed just how quickly you will see the benefits!

One day I was driving down a highway close to my home in Oxfordshire, when another car over took and nearly pushed me off the road. Instantly I felt rage and negative emotions beginning to build – almost automatically, as though this was the normal thing to happen. This happened while I was on my way to the airport and if it were not for my friend who was with me, then I would have been in this rage until I rose off that tarmac at the Standstead Airport. My friend said something very wise to me that allowed me to instantly look at the scenario from a different perspective, which in turn allowed me to enjoy the rest of my journey. What she said was simple – “Maybe his wife has had an accident or his son or daughter is ill”. See what I mean? After looking at it in another way I felt completely different.

In therapy we call this ‘re-framing’ and even though it is a very small part of the process you can see just how effective it is.

Ending A Marriage:

Ending a marriage is always difficult to do. Nevertheless, whether you want to try to separate from your husband or wife or just go right into a divorce, there are a few things you need to handle properly.

First of all, if you have children, pay attention to parental concerns and parenting plans to making a transition easy for your children. Family holidays and weekend should be addressed and arranged. If you don’t want to conceive of the notion right now of ever dating again, ensure that you will always spend time together by having at least two free weekends a month so that your spouse doesn’t end up with the better deals when all is said and done. And it is regardless how much you love your children, you are going to want to take breaks and sometimes that may mean getting away for several days that is usually easier on weekends.

Finances should be also discussed when processing a divorce. Who will pay the Master Card bill? Who will pay the electric bill for the current household bill? Whose paycheck covers summer camps? And if you send your children to private school, who will pay for tuition fee? You also have to start to plan on splitting up any assets of the marriage. Who will own the home where you currently live together? What about cars? Who wants to take the Jeep Cherokee and who will inevitably be able to afford the car payments on the Hummer?

Divorcing with your widen eyes will help make things so much smoother for all sides, and it is essential to tackle the task right up front when talking about parental cares and finances or division of property in an amicable fashion. Moreover, you have to get these things in papers while both parties are in agreement because often as divorce progresses things can change and usually get ugly.

If you can’t pay for an attorney, you have to try to agree on everything together and see one jointly to save money for you both down the road. Just because your marriage lay in ruins, it is not a reason for your finances to be devastated by your divorce.

Try to separate all joint checking as soon as possible and consider about other finances or sell all property that is jointly owned. If one party is keeping a jointly owned home, ownership needs to find its way into one name.

The best preparing for a divorce is to search on the internet for divorce checklists and look for ways, ensuring that you get everything done properly. If you don’t want to take care of the housekeeping involved with divorce, it will make you less grief ‘later’ if you act responsibly and take care of things ‘now’.

Be considerate for above all, even in aspect of property. If you didn’t collect the Elvis albums, give it to your spouse. Being far in the division of all things will go a long way in divorce.

What To Do With Your Children In The Middle Of Your Divorce:

There is nothing worse that seeing a couple going through a divorce and at the same time, playing a war with their children. While a divorce is about to begin, usually, children are the parent’s victims as they are used to against the other person, it is meaningless if their children are adults or just kids.

Putting children in the middle of the parents’ divorce and asking them or hoping them to be on their side, usually reflect the immaturity of the parents and this is nothing

short of mental abuse to their children. Children involved usually do anything in anyways to rebel and to facing a divorce of their parents. When being put in the middle, the children are more likely to rebel even worse than the parents could expect, because they do to against their parents and sometimes this problem becomes too ate to be fixed after the shock of your problem which are minimized.

Divorce is usually a cause for kids to become involved in drugs and alcohol. Currently, with drug use, among adolescents who are involving they tends to use methamphetamines and strong pain medicine. And the last thing you want your child to get involved is drug abuse.

Parents who encourage their children to choose a side of them, need to give up their own selfish feelings and concern more about their children. In fact, rather than placing their child or children in the middle, how about putting them in a clear focus?

While children usually get on a parent’s last nerve when a divorce is in progress, they need more parental care than ever. Having them taken care by their grandparents or neighbors during the divorce is OK in some circumstance, but not through the entire process.

As parents, it is essential to remember that divorcing parents still need to find a way where the family could be reunited with their children. For example, they might have a family meal together, or attend a concert or a sporting event together and remain friendly at all the time in front of their children. If you have a fight with each other or need to discuss something serious, remember that often behind closed doors, there are little ears spying what is going to transpire on the other side.

Maturity among parents is required in these days and this age. If you placing your children in the middle during a divorce, don’t be surprised when you find that your teenage daughter running away or your son drunk in the garage. You usually get back what you cause and this isn’t something you need to cope with while processing a divorce.

Putting a child in the middle of a divorce can only be worked out positively when you remember to concern about the child’s needs. If you can keep your children at the center of your life although trials of your divorce sadden you, you probably find them to be an inspiration when you have several inspiring moments left. Search for ways to encourage them while looking for some peace within your own life while being able to cope with your divorce.

How To Determine If You Have A Good Relationship:

Stop Your Divorce and Save Your Marriage

How do you know if you are in a good relationship? Most of us know when we do a good job at work but most can’t tell whether they are in a good relationship or not.

Can you?

If you can’t you can learn to tell if you are in a good relationship. Better yet, you don’t have to wait and see over a long period of time if you and your partner will make each other happy or miserable down the road.

No matter what stage of the relationship you are in, you can take its pulse right now and be able to tell if it’s thriving, sick and needs help, or if it’s beyond help and needs to end.

First, understand that your feelings are not always a good barometer of whether you are in a good relationship or not. Realize that a good relationship is not always all about love.

Isn’t love important in a good relationship?

Well, it is and it isn’t. People get into relationships to feel good or because they are in love, or so they think. But in reality, every person gets into a relationship to meet a complex set of deeper personal needs such as understanding, companionship, approval and to give and receive love.

Many people are in love with each other and yet have a bad relationship. This is very common. People stay in bad relationships and marriages because they are lovesick over their partner yet unable to let go.

At the same time people in good relationships sometimes feel bad and think it’s the relationship making them feel bad. For example, who among us has not been with someone who seems deeply in love with us, and yet runs? It may be a good relationship the person is running from, but one that made him or her feel the fear of intimacy.

This is why your feelings are not always a good judge of whether you are in a good relationship or not. Take a look at the circumstances in which you find yourself in order to begin to figure out what is a good relationship and what is not.